Friday, January 26, 2007

Opening in Dallas, 01/26

by Brian
Venus (trailer): Hey, it’s about time. I know that if I had a little-known movie with a lead performance that allegedly deserved an Oscar, I’d make sure that it didn’t arrive in major markets until after the nominations were announced. Way to build up the word, guys.

Sweet Land (trailer): I’ve heard a lot of good about this, and I’m quite pleased to have a genuine quality indie release in town.

Seraphim Falls (trailer at official site): Looks interesting, but I think I’ve warned against movies with a great cast yet no advance buzz before.

Smokin’ Aces (trailer): Perhaps the loudest trailer ever. Looks far too eager to please.

Catch and Release (trailer): I would guess that two things are true here: 1) This is the most charming, down-to-earth performance that Jennifer Garner has given, and 2) the movie sucks anyway.

Blood and Chocolate (trailer): A teenage werewolf movie, but serious this time. Awesome.

Epic Movie (trailer): Lots of problems here. One, none of the movies spoofed, as far as I can tell, are what I’d call “epics”. I mean, Nacho Libre? Second, none of the jokes in the TV ads are even really jokes. Third - they’re making fun of Paris Hilton, really? And fourth, how exactly does one spoof Borat? And fifth, why are Borat and Paris Hilton in a spoof of “epics” anyway?

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12 Comments:

Blogger Nick said...

Way to build up the word, guys.

You think people (excluding you) would have seen it without it getting nominated?

I think I’ve warned against movies with a great cast yet no advance buzz before.

And it's in January, too. Rotten Tomatoes give it 56%. Eff. Things ain't looking bright, exactly.

This is the most charming, down-to-earth performance that Jennifer Garner has given

Dude, no. Alias, hello?

none of the movies spoofed, as far as I can tell, are what I’d call “epics”. I mean, Nacho Libre?

You did so not understand Nacho Libre.

1/26/2007 02:42:00 PM  
Blogger Jackrabbit Slim said...

I actually liked Garner in 13 Going on 30, as silly as that film was.

1/26/2007 03:15:00 PM  
Blogger Brian said...

You think people (excluding you) would have seen it without it getting nominated?

Well, yeah, kinda. There's a pretty solid demographic for this kind of thing. Hell, Ladies in Lavender played for months here.

Dude, no. Alias, hello?

I'll confess, I haven't seen a lot of "Alias". But are "charming" and "down-to-earth" really good ways to describe her role on that show?

You did so not understand Nacho Libre.

Guess not.

1/26/2007 03:29:00 PM  
Blogger Nick said...

,Hell, Ladies in Lavender played for months here.

That is frightening beyond words.

I'll confess, I haven't seen a lot of "Alias". But are "charming" and "down-to-earth" really good ways to describe her role on that show?

Well, seriously, yeah. I mean, she wasn't a diva, she wasn't mean, she had charm, at least when she was wearing a 'crazy' outfit, and she didn't try to take over the world, which pretty much everyone else on that show did. She just wanted a healthy relationship with her father and to do her job. That's 'down-to-earth' to me.

I stopped watching the show during the third or fourth season, though, since the scriptwriters seemed to have lost the plot after the second 'reboot' and subsequently I lost interest. Now that the show is done I'll probably have a marathon and finish it all up sometime.

1/26/2007 03:38:00 PM  
Blogger Count Olaf said...

I've been waiting for this post so i can comment on the B+C trailer that everyone has been pooh-poohing for a month. I should have put this with my Rocky post, but...

Before Rocky this trailer shows up. Teen werewolf movie...star-crossed lovers. Typical stuff. I'm thinking to myself "If I was still in high school, I may want to see this, but it looks lame now." Then the title card comes up and the theater bursts out in laughter and groans.
Yes, I know it's a book title, but when cutting a trailer did you ever stop to think that the audience might need a reference to the title before pulling a stunt like that? One of the lamest moves in recent memory.

1/26/2007 05:10:00 PM  
Blogger Brian said...

I think I would have changed the "and" to an "or". And added a question mark. And an ellipsis. So the title would be Blood ... or Chocolate?

That would have solved the laughter problem I think. Because people like chocolate, and they would think someone was offering them some.

1/26/2007 06:17:00 PM  
Blogger Nick said...

I think I would have changed the "and" to an "or". And added a question mark. And an ellipsis. So the title would be Blood ... or Chocolate?

That would have solved the laughter problem I think.


Yeah, people sure would have taken the film seriously then.

1/26/2007 06:40:00 PM  
Blogger Count Olaf said...

not as seriously as if it had been titled "Hemoglobins + Cocoa Beans"...

Or "Ballistic: Bludd + Choklit"

Or a sweet love story about an L.A. gang member and his LG cell phone.

1/26/2007 07:48:00 PM  
Blogger Nick said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

1/26/2007 07:56:00 PM  
Blogger Nick said...

Bludd + Choklit

a sweet love story about an L.A. gang member and his LG cell phone.

That is friggin' genius.

1/26/2007 07:57:00 PM  
Blogger jaydro said...

I thought the same thing about Epic Movie, Brian. Like maybe it should have been Action Movie? Or maybe just Movie Movie--oh, no, wait, they already made that, and it's a movie that's really hard to find.... There was a still from it in an early '80's "history of movies" book I used to have. Always wanted to see it.... When that comes out on HD-DVD or Blu-Ray, then I'll know it's time to upgrade....

1/27/2007 01:11:00 AM  
Blogger LesterG said...

All I need to say about 1996 throwback Smokin' Aces: Embarrassingly bad, yet completely forgettable. Anyone who attacked 2 Days in the Valley for being Tarantino-lite needs to apologize.
Carnahan's inability to get any projects off the ground post-Narc is starting to become clear.

Note: Ben Affleck's teeth are BLINDINGLY white in digital projection. Do not stare directly at the screen.

1/29/2007 06:47:00 PM  

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